14 JUL 2012, SAT - This is my most sadness day. My 2.5 years old Rottweiler (born on 16 October 2009) has passed away on this morning from suffering a sickness of body cramp. His sickness occurs since when he was first years old. We spent a lots on him, his house, his foods and his medical fees. Everything we given is the best for him. I don't know how to cope without him. I've had him since 2 years ago and am really upset by me thought of life without him. I was with him when he died but I am really struggling to accept that he doesn't exist anymore. I've been accompanied him from midnight 12AM till morning 5AM. I really hates myself that I can't do anything for him. I had tried several ways to make him feel better but it does not help at all.
He has always been a part of my life and I don't know how to deal without him, there's a dog house specially built for him reside in my house garden and his nice food bowl. Even at mealtimes there will be nobody begging for food and no need for anyone to keep an eye on their meal when he is around. The most upsetting thing is not that I've lost something I loved so much, but that I've lost something that loved me so much, I felt like he was dependent on me and he doesn't need me anymore. He always wanted to be with me so much and I feel like my life is the poorer not having his unconditional love.
My boy friend has called people to buried him and I was hiding inside house without seeing him sending away. But then I cried for it too and totally no mood during the whole day. This happen too sudden and now he just doesn't exist and everything is reminding me of him.
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